Posted by: Steven Harris | December 29, 2009

Biggest Assholes of 2009

It’s that list-making time of year. Best books. Best movies. Biggest news stories. This is a different kind of list. 2009 was quite a year for assholes. In fact, even in the last days of the year, new assholes were revealed. We need a list of them to keep up! I posed the question to Twitter to ask folks who they thought were the biggest assholes of the year. This list is partly mine and partly from my Tweeps. It seems politics is a fertile field for assholes. But sports and entertainment aren’t without theirs. Let me know if I missed anybody.

  • Tiger Woods – world champion Casanova, amateur texter
  • Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab – luckily he was incompetent too
  • Glenn Beck – there is hope for dumb people
  • Lou Dobbs – because talk show hosts ought to be leading the country
  • Rush Limbaugh – somehow, he seems like small-potatoes asshole anymore
  • Goldman Sachs – mismanage your business – blame poor people – get rewarded
  • Jon Gosselin – posterboy for the horrors of “reality” television
  • Kanye West – “Imma let you finish” music video critic
  • Global climate change – polar bears are hating it
  • Joe Lieberman – small man relishing his power
  • Ben Nelson – protector of wealthy women’s access to abortion
  • Sarah Palin – death panel critic
  • Max Hall – BYU quarterback, is there anything less classy than saying your opponents are classless?
  • Bernie Madoff – investment Ponzi world champion
  • Joe Wilson – “You lie!” South Carolina congressman
  • Mark Sanford – South Carolina governor, Argentina Casanova, and Appalachian hiker
  • Rod Blagojevich – “how much you willing to pay?” former Illinois governor
  • Richard Heene – Balloon Boy’s genius father
  • Elizabeth Lambert – Lobo soccer player, expert in the ponytail takedown
  • Mike Locksley – “those aren’t my fingerprints on the guy’s neck!” UNM football coach – great year for UNM sports
  • Maine voters – because California voters won the biggest assholes award in 2008 – Iowa out-cooling y’all
  • Charlie Sheen – long-time asshole thought to have turned himself around
  • Perez Hilton – giving victims everywhere a bad name
  • Chris Brown – small man taking his frustrations out on a woman
  • Joe Jackson – even in losing a child showed high levels of asshole. Worst parent ever?

So,  who is the BIGGEST asshole of the year? Cast your vote in the comments!



  1. It has gotta be Richard Heene for Acute Assholism and Glenn Beck for Chronic Recurrent Assholism.

  2. Hee! I like the acute and chronic diagnoses.

  3. My vote goes either to Lieberman or Locksley. One for being a completely vindictive asshole and the other for thinking a football game is worth punching/strangling/whatever-else-he-did someone.

  4. My vote goes to either Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh, but since Limbaugh is on the list every year I’ll give it to Beck

  5. Yo Steven, I’m really happy for you, and Imma let you finish, but Palin is one of the biggest assholes of all time!

    -its was a close race, but Palin edges out Beck and West as the worst.

  6. Social comments and analytics for this post…

    This post was mentioned on Twitter by srharris19: Blog post: Biggest Assholes of 2009 – vote today!

  7. Many of the people on your list are people that resemble cartoon characters or Muppets. Lieberman=Droopy the Dog
    Limbaugh=a blend of Foghorn Leghorn & Porky Pig
    Palen=Bugs Bunny in drag
    Joe Jackson= Cruella DaVille
    I’m going to go with…..mmmm Maine!!! Assholeville, USA….plus they have only one tooth for the whole state! 🙂

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